career opportunities (live) - the clash

Career opportunities are the ones that never knock,
every job they offer you is to keep out the dock
Career opportunities, the ones that never knock


And the unison singing of Mick Jones and Joe Strummer can always cheer one up, needed or not.

You know your generation is fucked up when people know the names of Britney Spears Children, the name of at least two of her exes, and can say more than five sentences about Paris Hilton - but they don't know who Joe Strummer is. It's an effing tragedy.

And so life goes on into a holiday well-needed. The last weeks have been tiresome and included a lot of work and the future bears more schoolwork in its bosom.

It feel good listening to The Clash. They remind me of a time when there always seemed to be something to fight and oppose or protest against. What do we have today? The most radical thing I can do is to support the cutdown of the A-kassa, which I actually do. And that doesn't feel too rebellious.

I know, I am such a sucker to find something to fight for. Something to fight and burn and bleed for. Goddamnit, I am imploding in all my safety and residential area-predictability!

I am aware of the fact that I am very obstinate when it comes to this. But until I get going with a good writing-project, allowing me to escape into and create happenings which I wish happened in my very own life I am afraid I won't be any funnier. At least not on the blog, which I know you all so faithfully follow, read, and comment. :)

As ever,
Snugglie

don't say a word (live) - sonata arctica

Broke the vow, I thought you made, my angel, why...
Could I let you wait out the night

Mother always said "My son, do the noble thing
You have to finish what you started,
no matter what now sit, watch and learn
It's not how long you live, but what your morals say
Can't keep your part of the deal
So don't say a word,
don't say a word"

I need "Don't say a word" on loud volume bursting my eardrums in the utter darkness of my room. There are, strangely enough, few things that bring as much peace as the pounding sound of drums and bass and a powerful voice.

It is, somehow, able to place me in complete calm and makes me feel as if life, the universe and everything is mine to perceive and predict.

It makes me not believe, but know.

It makes me feel like there is actually something in life that will be more than predictable and safe.

It makes me feel as if the day of Judgement is closing in with every tick and tock of the clock, and I can, when Kakko, Jani and the others in choir start singing the refrain almost hear the Riders in the sky outside.

Damn me, I need something to fight and burn and bleed for,
Snugglie

tranquilize - the killers feat. lou reed

Silently reflection turns my world to stone
patiently correction leaves us all alone
And sometimes I'm a travel man
but tonight this engine's failing


My little experiment in the previous post turned out with the people I expected stating that they read my blog -- I even got a comment from "Nisse från Manpower" which I sadly couldn't decode, but of course I welcome him to the gathering -- and well, it is about ten people that I meet every day. As expected.

But my brain is still close to bursting every once in a while, so the blog will be around for quite a while more.

So, life!

All too many nights now I end up not being able to sleep. I turn the computer off, I go to bed, I close my eyes, and then I fail to fall asleep. Too many thoughts bounce in my head and it feels like I've got all too much to do to even realize what it is that I should do.

Because life sure does feel quite damned abstract every once in a while. An endless chain of going to sleep, sleeping to little, waking up and being tired, taking the bus, having a long schoolday, taking the bus again, doing less homework than I should, and then starting from the beginning again. And the only thing breaking the chain are weekends that can be divided up in the same way.

And yes, there is something missing.

Because my life is getting all too close to being a checkered paper, with everything scheduled and planned subconsciously on beforehand and that was not the way it was intended.

There is so much that feels like it needs to be added. For the first a purpose, a goal for which I can strive and aim for constantly and in which I can find inspiration to maximize my work in the areas needed for this goal to come true.

So what do I actually WANT with my life?

I want to learn to speak another language fluently, preferrably Spanish. When that goal is fulfilled I believe I'll go for French, and if I have time I'll try to learn German fluently as well.

I want to get out and away from Ystad, and after that from Sweden. There seems to be a spirit on Ireland, and dangerous for me or not, I want to experience it.

I want to do something I can be happy doing or not doing. I can be living without work nor point if I only have chosen myself to do so for a while.

And most of all I want a way to reach out and something to tell people, something that will make me remembered. Some way so that the ink of my pen, the extension of my arm, brain and soul will be interpreted by people that will listen, understand, and agree.

I want to be remembered, or do something that will be remembered. Fame is nothing I care about; only a worth in the great whole that is our world and life.

Yours as ever, and still not rid of thoughts cramming his head
Snugglie