victoria's secret - sonata arctica

Dancing on the path and singing now you got away
you can reach the goals that you have set from now on , every day
There is no way you would go back now, oh no, those days are past
life is waiting for the one who loves to live, and it is not a secret...

Concert in about 42 hours, Sonata at Mejeriet. That will be a happening, for sure.

The blog has yet another paint job, ought to be the seventh since I started writing again. Why? Well, I like the colours to reflect mood or trends in my life. The last icey-blue one was when I had a few days of intensive listening to Ecliptica, the black-orange a few weeks ago was after getting hooked to Orange County - definitely not to be confused with The O.C. - and this current one is to represent my escapades in Lost Heaven the last couple of days.

Lost Heaven is a fictional city in the game Mafia: Lost Heaven, my latest way of escaping reality. And depression and criminality or not, the world did have a better paint job in the thirties. Men looked like men, cars looked like cars and the Western World still had not succumbed to the horrible architecture that would follow during the upcoming forty years, thus destroying the face of at least my rather insignificant homecountry.

It would be interesting to experience it.

Or, to have something not as extreme, late 19th century London, or Munich, or Berlin, or Copenhagen or... well, I guess that is most of it. France is uninteresting for me by then, Astruo-Hungary was embarassing already decades earlier, and Spain... Spain lost its last colonies by then. So I believe that if I had the possibility to live for a year in 1897, I would be German.

Honest, the 21st century is horribly dull this far. Do you also feel sometimes that civlization has already peaked, and is now instead going downwards?

As ever,

career opportunities (live) - the clash

Career opportunities are the ones that never knock,
every job they offer you is to keep out the dock
Career opportunities, the ones that never knock

And the unison singing of Mick Jones and Joe Strummer can always cheer one up, needed or not.

You know your generation is fucked up when people know the names of Britney Spears Children, the name of at least two of her exes, and can say more than five sentences about Paris Hilton - but they don't know who Joe Strummer is. It's an effing tragedy.

And so life goes on into a holiday well-needed. The last weeks have been tiresome and included a lot of work and the future bears more schoolwork in its bosom.

It feel good listening to The Clash. They remind me of a time when there always seemed to be something to fight and oppose or protest against. What do we have today? The most radical thing I can do is to support the cutdown of the A-kassa, which I actually do. And that doesn't feel too rebellious.

I know, I am such a sucker to find something to fight for. Something to fight and burn and bleed for. Goddamnit, I am imploding in all my safety and residential area-predictability!

I am aware of the fact that I am very obstinate when it comes to this. But until I get going with a good writing-project, allowing me to escape into and create happenings which I wish happened in my very own life I am afraid I won't be any funnier. At least not on the blog, which I know you all so faithfully follow, read, and comment. :)

As ever,

man in black - johnny cash

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
and things need changin' everywhere you go
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
you'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
and tell the world that everything's OK
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'till things are brighter,
I'm the Man In Black

For the first I propose a silent minute.

[one minute of silence - if not, burn, burn, burn]

Now for the whole issue, and the reason of why I will wear black tomorrow

Today British and Dutch Police in cooperation with Interpol ended the life of a dear companion of mine: the filesharing-site

And yes, the whole point is to sound exageratedly pompous.

Because fact is that I will wear black tomorrow, simply to express what I feel about the current battle going on between record labels and us, their consumers. Paying 179:- for a record, and having less than half of it going to the artist is nothing I'm very eager for.

The only time I've done it the past three years is just a month or so ago, being Winnerbäck's latest. Partly due to getting it signed.

And partly due to me being willing to pay 179:- for a Winnerbäck-record if it would only go to him and the ones creating his album, and not the Label-drones

The problem with the Labels and their interest organizations is that they do not listen. Filesharers are evil and vile creatures equal to talibans - as it seems according to their policy - and not worth listening to.

What's there to be done then?

Well, my views towards the industry had actually gotten positive lately, with the introduction at some places of a system where you choose yourself how much to pay, e.g. between 1-100£

(Radiohead's latest album, sold on their site). Do people pay 1£? No, generally they actually pay 6-8£. A sum I consider reasonable if it goes to the artist.

What function does the labels actually have? Promoting the artist, generally. But who says it cannot change? That some other system will enter the market, maybe it will be almost entirely netbased? Maybe everyone will do as Radiohead?
Maybe music will be free and the live-gigs will be the thing making more money and thus being the heart of the market?
I won't stop hoping, and I won't stop downloading. That's the way it is, and that is why I am wearing black tomorrow.

The last word is not said,

bark at the moon - ozzy osbourne

Screams break the silence,
waking from the dead of night
Vengence is boiling,
he's returned to kill the light
Then when he's found who he's looking for,
listen in awe and you'll hear him
Bark at the moon

Even technology's turned against me.

MSN dead.

Internet semi-demented.

Every bloody web-page as slow as a Physics-lesson.

And when I'm actually involved in a discussion without point, it's fucking impossible to come online again, no matter what client or webpage I try.

Fuck this, I'm off to bed.

don't say a word (live) - sonata arctica

Broke the vow, I thought you made, my angel, why...
Could I let you wait out the night

Mother always said "My son, do the noble thing
You have to finish what you started,
no matter what now sit, watch and learn
It's not how long you live, but what your morals say
Can't keep your part of the deal
So don't say a word,
don't say a word"

I need "Don't say a word" on loud volume bursting my eardrums in the utter darkness of my room. There are, strangely enough, few things that bring as much peace as the pounding sound of drums and bass and a powerful voice.

It is, somehow, able to place me in complete calm and makes me feel as if life, the universe and everything is mine to perceive and predict.

It makes me not believe, but know.

It makes me feel like there is actually something in life that will be more than predictable and safe.

It makes me feel as if the day of Judgement is closing in with every tick and tock of the clock, and I can, when Kakko, Jani and the others in choir start singing the refrain almost hear the Riders in the sky outside.

Damn me, I need something to fight and burn and bleed for,

tranquilize - the killers feat. lou reed

Silently reflection turns my world to stone
patiently correction leaves us all alone
And sometimes I'm a travel man
but tonight this engine's failing

My little experiment in the previous post turned out with the people I expected stating that they read my blog -- I even got a comment from "Nisse från Manpower" which I sadly couldn't decode, but of course I welcome him to the gathering -- and well, it is about ten people that I meet every day. As expected.

But my brain is still close to bursting every once in a while, so the blog will be around for quite a while more.

So, life!

All too many nights now I end up not being able to sleep. I turn the computer off, I go to bed, I close my eyes, and then I fail to fall asleep. Too many thoughts bounce in my head and it feels like I've got all too much to do to even realize what it is that I should do.

Because life sure does feel quite damned abstract every once in a while. An endless chain of going to sleep, sleeping to little, waking up and being tired, taking the bus, having a long schoolday, taking the bus again, doing less homework than I should, and then starting from the beginning again. And the only thing breaking the chain are weekends that can be divided up in the same way.

And yes, there is something missing.

Because my life is getting all too close to being a checkered paper, with everything scheduled and planned subconsciously on beforehand and that was not the way it was intended.

There is so much that feels like it needs to be added. For the first a purpose, a goal for which I can strive and aim for constantly and in which I can find inspiration to maximize my work in the areas needed for this goal to come true.

So what do I actually WANT with my life?

I want to learn to speak another language fluently, preferrably Spanish. When that goal is fulfilled I believe I'll go for French, and if I have time I'll try to learn German fluently as well.

I want to get out and away from Ystad, and after that from Sweden. There seems to be a spirit on Ireland, and dangerous for me or not, I want to experience it.

I want to do something I can be happy doing or not doing. I can be living without work nor point if I only have chosen myself to do so for a while.

And most of all I want a way to reach out and something to tell people, something that will make me remembered. Some way so that the ink of my pen, the extension of my arm, brain and soul will be interpreted by people that will listen, understand, and agree.

I want to be remembered, or do something that will be remembered. Fame is nothing I care about; only a worth in the great whole that is our world and life.

Yours as ever, and still not rid of thoughts cramming his head

shoreline - broder daniel

Ever since I was eight or nine,
I've been standing on the shoreline

For all my life I've been waiting
for something lasting

You lose your hunger
and you lose your way
You get confused
and then you fade away

Oh, this town
kills you when you're young
Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh, this town
kills you when you're young

From the Wikipedia-article on Broder Daniel: "A couple of new members joined [...] hype of the now notorious band featuring the charismatic singer and songwriter Henrik who, with his singing out of tune and excessive use of make-up, had in a short time gained a following of maladjusted youth, looking for a leader."

I love the part "maladjusted youth". If only Joel'd been reading this he would have flipped. Pity that he probably isn't, and pity that I haven't seen him since I accidentally bumped into him this summer.

Also, speaking about reading and not reading.

The lust for writing came and went, and the questions of life won't be answered in a blog. But by pure curiousity, I now want to find out how many actually reads this blog.

Thus, please, any person reading here, please leave a comment so that I notice whether any of my words are going out or not. It might be some motivation to continue blogging at all.

Allright? Ten extra seconds of your time, not too much to ask for.

As always,

the pogues - if I should fall from grace with God

If I should fall from grace with God
Where no doctor can relieve me
If I'm buried neath the sod
But the angels wont receive me

Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me go down in the mud
Where the rivers all run dry

Yet another D-day now counts as history. The homework done today has, sadly, only been the Biology lab report. No English and no Maths. Instead I've been stuck in CAS, surprisingly enough.

This through writing After Action Reports. I allow me to be a little proud when saying that I've actually found a CAS fitting me as a glove.

So, what's an AAR, I can hear a few of my very few writers wondering? Well, an AAR is when one writes what happens in a game, generally a strategy-game. The fine thing is that in historical strategygame such as Europa Universalis III, that I am playing, one writes it as alternative history. Now, alternative history is a genre I've been thinking about exploring for a very long time, and this is a great way to do it.

Two chapters have been written today in the story titled "Kingdom of Scania - The tale of an outbreak", one prologue and the first chapter. To save space I won't upload it here, I doubt anyone'd read it anyway. Thus I will instead give you the link to it, so that you can see for yourselves if you want to.

And please, if you can, criticism in some way. Consider that it's not really a story, rather a story contemplating how it could have gone, if things had only been slightly different. I might use it as a template for a story or stories in the future though. Criticism, if I surprisingly enough receive it, can either be as a comment in the blog or by mailing me or talking to me on MSN. I assume all of my readers already have my mail, but I'll write it anyway.

Yours as ever,

california - phantom planet

Well, hustlers grab your guns
The shadow weighs a ton
Driving down the 101
California, here we come
Right back where we started from

A few of you might recognize the lyrics of this song, and state that it is used as intro-song to the O.C. So before I say anything else, no I don't watch that show. The reason I've got the song here is instead since it's used in the movie Orange County with Jack Black and Colin Hanks.

Now, this movie has been haunting the back of my mind since I saw it last weekend.

(Warning! Spoilers ahead!)
And not in the I'm-looking-for-monsters-in-my-closet-way of haunting, this is a comedy and not a horror movie. But it's the concept. Dude living in a decadent place that he longs away from, realizes he wants to be a writer, applies to Stanford, doesn't get into Stanford due to administrary problems, so he enters an odyssey with his hippie girlfriend and loser brother.
(Spoilers over)

The movie in itself is great. One of those Hollywood-comedies that's actually good, partially because of Jack Black's pure presence. But enough of reviewing, that's not why I'm writing about it.

As stated, it's the whole concept. The dude finds out what he wants to do, and he does all he can to follow his dream. And that's where I enter the picture. Because fact is, I don't have a clear and visualized dream yet. Something with politics, something with History, something about living abroad and a little of being happy.

Swell that far.

But honest, how much is that actually? It's nothing. It's vague and completely impossible to put an aim for, since I have no idea what I'll need to do to reach a place and position I'm happy with. I've only got one thing clear, and that is that my area of work is more important than my salary.

The dude in the movie wants to become a writer, and according to the movie he - of course - has got a big talent for it. I don't know how much or well I can actually write when it comes to books, the only project I've been doing seriously got 42 pages long and then died due to complete lack of historical accuracy.

Dreams, dreams... What do I want to do with my life?

Now, thinking like this all the time is of course a very impractical thing, since it takes my mind of schoolwork. Studying amino acids, radians and greek dramas doesn't feel that tempting when I'm sitting and being slightly anxious as well as slightly overwhelmed by the different possibilities when it comes to my future. I want to do something that I can enjoy, something that I want to work with. Something that can bring me out in the world and eventually have me die at old age with a smile on my lips, knowing that I got the most out of it.

There's only one thing coming to my mind when I contemplate the matter. History.

I do it on my spare time, I read about it, I do it in school, I play games in the matter, and I think about it if I ever think of any school subject. It's the only thing I actually really can, judging from my own experience. Burying myself in History-books is something I could definitely do without any regrets.

But then again... history? What do you become then? Teacher? Historian? What does a historian do anyway?

No, I didn't manage to be too structured this time. But one thing is clear for me, I need to get a plan as well as a real dream, and the sooner I get it, the sooner I'll be happy with school, life and spare time. Which I need, desperately. This is one of those weeks when motivation is rationed.

I'd like to end with a poem that, if I know whose reading this blog, you're all familiar with.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference

I really need to find which way to take.

Yours as ever,

winning - santana

I'm winning
I'm winning
I'm winning
And I don't intend on losing again

Santana isn't only the name of the band accompanying Mexican guitar hero Carlos Santana, it's also the name of a slightly slimy git that led the student's council today. Or as it now is called, "elevkår". I've yet to find an English translation.

Makings of the student's council today:
- Impeeched the now previous chairman of the temporary board
- Discussed different themes for future parties
- Santana campaigned a little "discreetly"
- Spent ten minutes for the issue of changing the "elevråd" in the paragraphs to "elevkår

Yes, of course I focuse a little on things that didn't live up to my expectations, but that's the way that all sort of power is to be looked upon. The pros have to outwheigh the cons.

The Best of Santana for the day is when I, during the meeting, asked whether we maybe shouldn't have very extensive discussions about what themes we might have on future parties, but maybe proceed to following points of more relevance. This since we only had 20 minutes of scheduled time left. I don't know if his answer was a joke or not, but it still renders him incompetent in my eyes:
"Nej, det här är en av de viktigaste grejerna vi gör, det är för elevernas trivnad."

Then he spent a few minutes with jokes regarding liquor. God (or anyone else for that part) have mercy on us if we ever actually choose Santana for chairman of the to-be-board. Let him have his fun bossing around with the temporary instead.

Yours as ever,

johnny 99 - bruce springsteen

Well they closed down the auto plant in Mahwah late that month
Ralph went out lookin' for a job but he couldn't find none
He came home too drunk from mixin' Tanqueray and wine
He got a gun shot a night clerk now they call'm Johnny 99

The world ain't getting better. Mankind ain't getting nicer. School ain't getting easier. But the Boss is as good as ever.

Too many thoughts spinning around in my mind, and too many carefully formed sentences left unspoken, alternatively just mentioned in haste and afterwards gone in the winds of time.

Hopefully to someone's joy, I'm back.

Yours as ever,

kom och dansa lite - mimikry

Hon tog på sig sin vitaste klänning
ställde sig vid spegeln och sa:
"Spegel, spegel på väggen där,

vem är vackrast i världen idag?"

Svaret blev lika som alltid,
"Kom tillbaka till mig nästa dag,

säg 'spegel, spegel på väggen där',
kanske du får det svar du vill ha

Spegel, spegel på väggen där,
vem är vackrast, säg är det jag?

Kom och dansa lite,
ja kom och dansa här med mig
jag vill dansa natten lång med dig min flicka

Last time I wrote I was whining, so now it's time to dig up the positive thinking. It's been an overly calm day this far, that's been spent with sleeping until 11:30 and then mostly cleaning.

Gotta say, that big window is a smaller odyssey to embark upon when cleaning. I don't know how close I've been to falling out, not to mention how many times.

The guy that designed those windows's got to be retarded though.

Anyhow, the day has as stated mostly been spent with cleaning. When actually settling down by the computer again and keeping on with my only existing hobby, gathering music, I happened to find a torrent containing Uppsamlingsheatet by Mimikry, which made me enter a frantic Mimikry-search.

It took me an hour or an hour and a half, but then I came to think of this song, that actually only was released in 50 examples. And well, not really released: Kom och dansa lite was thrown out in the crowd at a few randomly chosen concerts with Mimikry in 2006. It's downloadable from their web-page for only 5:- though, and now it's also available as torrent *hrm* at Oink's *double-hrm*.

No Maths's been done this far. Which sucks bad, but I'm working on it. Tomorrow'll be spent with Maths all through though. The whole day will be one long private Maths-lesson with my dad, or at least that's what I think. Well, the shit's got to be done.

When cleaning out my bag I happened to find a few notes that I made on a bus trip from Lund just a week or two ago. And since I've got the time, I'm now publishing it here; Enjoy.

Linje 6 070404 22:40
Man hinner observera mer än man ibland önskar som pendlare. Utöver att notera hur många lodisar och enligt populär benämning fjortisar som tar busen så brottas jag även med en rädsla att slita ut åsynen av solnedgången och likaså en lust att, så fort något yngel/kräk sätter sig längst bak i bussen (observera att jag allt som oftast sitter näst längst bak i bussen) och med sin flashiga och onödigt dyra mobiltelefon början spela den senaste gallan som spytts ut ur hip-hop/r'n'b-världen, slita ur dennes inälvor med ett aggressivt frustande om vad som egentligen är musik och sedan mata ovan benämnda yngel/kräk med tidigare nämnda inälvor till tonerna av "Killer Queen". För att inte tala om att det är rätt ohyfsat attmed ointellektuell blick och framtoning börja spela hög musik i en buss full av pendlare. Pendlare är människor under press. Och människor under press kan explodera.

Men utöver solnedgången och de okulturella kräk som vågar sig på mitt revir /Linje 6 Lund-Ystad) så får jag även tid att observera andra saker, de små detaljerna i vilka varje buss skiljer sig från andra. Klottret på sätena, mängden stoppning utsliten ur sätena längst bak, och allmäna skavanker. Till exempel så fattas på min favoritplats en stoppknapp på en buss, och på en annan plågas jag av ett defekt fläktreglage.

Nu har jag upptäckt ytterligare en sak. I ögonhöjf, vid i praktiken vartenda säte vid fönster, är det suddigt. Förnärmat undrar jag vad det är som stör min utsikt över alltifrån tomma fält till tomma byar till ett tomt Ystad och vid en nära inspektion visar det sig vara någon sorts fettig substans.

Med mitt inre öga kan jag se hur en morgontrött pendlare tillåter sig att sluta ögonen, för bara en liten stund, bara den där korta biten mellan Veberöd Öster och Dalby, och sedan förblir sovande tills bussan rullar in vid Universitetssjukhuset och den stackars saten tvingas springa till jobbet på Arkivgatan.

Bussarna är elakt utformade och inbjuder inte till sömn. Men om man har sådan tur att det inte sitter en storväxt luns bredvid en så kan man sitta lite snett och luta sig mot den vibrerande rutan, vilket inte fan är bekvämt, men man kan iallafall somna. Skånetrafikens bussar är på väg att vinna en Darwin Award för mest effektivt dödande av passagerare.

Hursomhelst, i våra upplysta tidevarv då en välsvarvad frisyr är ett steg mot framgång (liksom i fallet om du är kvinna, en välsvarvad häck) och vår sociala status avgörs av utseendet och utformingen av armar, ben och magar och, för kvinnorna tydligen både tuttar och armhålor så är det klart att man vill se proper ut på morgonen. Och om klockan är halv sex på morgonen så är det sälvklart att man om man suktar efter framgång har fettat in håret ordentligt med Garniers senaste klet innan man bordar den gula sardinburken varje morgon.

Och nu har hårvårdsproduktsförbrukningen (whoa, vilket ord!) nått så kritiska nivåer att jag endast kan se Konsum-skylten i Veberöd som i dimma. Uråldriga lager av hårvårdsprodukter skymmer min syn.

Vi har blivit lite som de där människorna i Jean M. Auels evinnerliga böcker.

"Hårvaxets folk".

Well, that's all I've got for you, my readers, for now. Leave me a comment, and I'll see you soon again, the weekend is short.


18:e balladen - lars winnerbäck

Javisst kan det va' hårt ibland
å kärvt å jävligt svårt ibland
Men när det väl blir bra
ja, så lycklig man kan va'!

Half a month and a little more since I last blogged. Guess that says much about my state of mind for the moment: I've got to get a grip of myself, and my studies. The school results might be slowly rising, I am to be completely honest not sure. It however has the cost that I don't really have time to blog anymore, since the little spare-time I actually have is spent either in Lund or on that bus that I've started to despise and sometimes hate (I'll come to that in a little while) or with friends, or alone with Ems.
And nowadays I'm thrown from overwhelming joy to pure sadness, and I think I can state with security that there are two major factors that have put me in this situation. The first one is, without doubt, the commuting. Hour after hour on a bus that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, hour after hour in an uncomfortable seat, and half of these hours spent in a way that feels totally wasted: to go back homewards, away from all that I enjoy and home to a place that is boring me to death, and which distance in between complicates everything.
Imagine, no matter at what time I end I will be home one and a half hour later, at the least. That is annoying, especially since these eternal busrides aren't very suitable for schoolwork due to bumpy roads and bad construction.
And well... I believe I don't even have to tell what a completely fucked up feeling it is to leave a movie-night at 2200 hours, then take the bus, be home at 2330 and have in mind that all others still are there, and according to all signs having a great time. Yes, that's right: I'm home before anyone else have left. No wonder one feels like shit when actually getting home, no wonder one have trouble sleeping some nights.
The other thing has emerged the last couple of days, but have escalated since November.
Mathematics. There are few words that I know of that can describe my situation in a good way. Fubar is one of the few expressions that actually works. Fucked up beyond all reason, that's how it feels.
Primarily I'm awfully pissed at myself for neglecting it the past half a year. Secondly I'm angry at the fact that I lack basics that I should have had. Thirdly I'm mad at ÖP for slowing down my development in so many ways in such a short time.
But most of all I'm scared. Scared of failing, simply. And not just the ordinary panic-panic that I'm not getting good grades enough or getting to few MVG:s; no, I am afraid of failing it. As it is now I don't even have a shot at Math B, I've only calculated half a chapter in the book.
It's my fault. Fuck all bad excuses, it's my fault for ignoring it and now I'm paying a bitter price.
I'm aiming at passing Maths. A G, and I'm happy. I can't achieve much more, any higher ambitions will suffocate me totally. That G is my salvation, because without it my whole world is falling apart. What about IB if I'd fail an exam? Dream on, farmer-boy.
Blesch, I don't want to think in those areas, but I can't help but do. If I'd fail I'm screwed in all ways possible, and even if not it's still painful to be so far behind. If there is anyone more than me this far behind I am very surprised. Not to mention that I'd consider that situation absurd.
Junior high gave me a bad impression of both my own and others capacity. From topping every class to being a good, but not best in a few subjects and simply lower half of the class in some subjects. And in Maths I guess that I simply am the bottom.
Yes, I'm counting it in prestige and that simply sucks. But hey, I'm getting used to the thought at least.
Wonderful Copenhagen tomorrow though. God and all other possible gods knows that I really need that. I need some rest, physically but above all, mentally.
I'll try to return to you as soon as possible.

en söt liten flicka - lars winnerbäck

Hon är en söt liten flicka som vet vad hon vill,

men hon vill ingenting untan kompisar intill
Och när hon får lite i sig, ja då höjer hon sin röst
vickar på rumpan och är stolt för sina bröst
En söt liten flicka med framtiden framför sig
en stadens stjärna som knullar allt som rör sig
En söt liten flicka den snälla goda fen
som tror att man kan köpa vad som helst för stora bröst och bruna ben

People that haven't noticed that I worship the very Earth that Lars Winnerbäck walks upon are either confused, having their heads up in the sky, or they simply don't know me.

Therefore, this post will be very much in the signs of Winnerbäck. I mean, just look at the intro song... one of the real oldies that Winnerbäck wrote and played with his band Snoddas (and in which one of the members actually was Anders from Swedish comedy-series Anders och Måns) during his time at the gymnasium of Katedralskolan in Linköping. I guess he had an aggressive attitude against bimbos too.

I found a really good wepage about him, or at least about his works. Album covers, tabs, lyrics, everything. And it also featured a department with texts by Winnerbäck, and that immediately gave me an hour of escape from all means of science-homework.

One of the texts got to me more than the others (or I simply was too tired to memorize any more than this first one), and when I today read it again, I figured that I should share it.

Observe, Lars Winnerbäck is from Sweden. In Sweden, we speak Swedish. Thereby the original text is in Swedish. For internationality and great justice I have tried to translate it as good as possible though. So remember, the following text is written by Lars Winnerbäck, but translated into English by me.


"About pornography

When I made my sexual debut I got really turned on as soon as I got to see
a pair of separated legs. I got turned on by nakedness and breasts. I've
learnt how not to get turned on by that anymore. Not in the same way, at least.
Not with the same curiosity and excitement.

Now I see it every day at the store. After midnight on TV. On more than
every second tag on the internet. Every weak a little more, a little

We can't make pornography a question only for the women. We can't let the
porno industry think that there's only female feminists that wants to stop them.
That only women are affected. We are all victims. No one is longer

With tremendous speed and with a convincing power it has invaded our
homes. On the internet you can search for any female celebrity and find, not
only spread legs, but horses and eels and dogs and cats that are having sex, for
real, in close-up.

If you want to click it down a new pop-up appears with further close-ups.
There is no stop.

I am so happy that I lost my virginity eight years ago. Before TV1000 and
internet. When Fibban and Rapport where the only representatives on the subject
of porn. At least that I knew of by then. By then, porn was hard to get. You
couldn't reach the magazines that had a box of their own and almost looked a
little dangerous.

Me and a friend found a magazine in the woods once, and with big eyes we
looked it through, astonished of all the things that our Biology teacher hadn't
told us.

What we saw in the porno-magazine that day I can see all the time now,
without even trying. Without will and without any curiosity at all. My curiosity
has been taken away. The porno industry have replaced it with disgust.

It's got to be hard facing your sex debut nowadays. To be around 15 years
and be in a class with ten, twenty other guys. Hard to know what you really
want. Hard to know that anal sex doesn't come without complications. It looks so
easy, and is compulsory on TV1000. Hard to know if it's something you really
want or if it's just a sick invention from the porno industries.

Because the porno inustry have never told us that it's more fun to have sex
when you're in love. That the breasts never are as wonderful to touch. Porno has
told us about gangbangs and double penetrations. As if it was natural and
even cool. They have never said that it hurts, physically, but above all deep in
your soul.

I've been robbed of my curiosity without even being a consumer of porn.
It's sick. The porno industry has taken it away from me. The curiosity. That's
not fair! Get away and take your double penetrations with you! Get out of my
computer! I can't handle you. I don't think that anyone can. You have insulted
woman. You have insulted man. You have assaulted youth. You haven't even
spared the animals.

Lucky there's radio.

This is Lars Winnerbäck, in Transit, in P3."

Yes, it's actually just a coincidence that it happens to be written by one of my greatest idols. No matter who whould have written it I would have agreed (I guess).

To put all cards on the table: Of course porn can be nice. Heck, I'm a teenage guy. Of course I've watched porn. I don't deny that, that would just be stupid.

But what is really behind the whole porno industry, the whole industry producing movies where blonde girls with unnaturally big (and actually not at all sexy) silicon breasts are screwed in all possible positions according to a so-called script. Well, for the first one can state that most movies are keeping the exactly same schedule in terms of positions and such, as well as silly terms and lines that all involve the f-word in different variations.

It's not too creative, one can state that without watching it.

But the thing that is driving behind all this is a sick ideal that girls and women enjoy practically everything and that they are supposed to not only look but probably think like Jenna Jameson and Briana Banks in order to be good girlfriends and wives.

But to be honest, guys over all of the planet... of course a good-looking girl stripping her clothes of in a video might be hot, but I doubt that she can hold very many interesting discussions. And realizing that you're most likely no too intelligent when doing that takes the whole edge of it.

The ideals are sick.

The money involved in it are of sick amounts.

And heck, it is getting annoying.

Don't believe me? Check the papers any random day. News about Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Linda Rosing usually complains over something. If it's not that the government wants to take her kids since she's been a druggie it is that people only see her outside (no offense BB-Linda, but you were fucking on live TV; sometimes our reputations are only caused by ourselves). ALl of them are bimbos that not in any way makes the world a better place. They are representing a world of surface and weird ideals, and have lifestyles that some girls awe for without seemingly knowing why.

It is sick. Porno is nothing compared to love in real life.

Wisdom enough for today. Cheers to whoever uploaded the Winnerbäck texts, and is Lars Winnerbäck himself for unknown and irrelevant reason would visit this site: Thanks. Thanks for your music, your texts, and all that you are trying to say. You're the king.


fat bottomed girls - queen

Hey listen here,
Now I got mortgages on homes
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell ya!)
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure.
Heap big woman you done made a big man out-of me!

Now get this!

Oh, (i know),
you gonna take me home tonight (please)
oh, down beside that red firelight
Oh, you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Get on your bikes and ride!

16 days. It's been 16 effin' days since I last updated. Honestly, that sucks. Well, I blame lack of motivation, lack of time, lack of sleep, and an overload of homework to cram in between school and the little spare time that I actually have got. Now I've got both time and a subject though, and thereby I return to the blog. I promise, or I at least hope that I won't stay away from it this long anymore.

Alas, the studies, yes... They are taking a lot of time now. And that's blasted, but what can I do?

Today: 8th of March. Two great happening are occurring on this day:
  • Me celebrating two months with Ems

  • International Women's Day

Not too much to say about first thing. Two months simply, and I met up with her a little earlier this morning. And I even miss her now, even though I saw her just a few hours ago. Well, in averagely 10½ hours I will see her again, and that's very good.

And to the next matter, the International Women's Day (I think that is the correct term for "Internationella Kvinnodagen"). And what is that?

Well, the International Women's Day, hereafter labelled as IWD for simplifying and saving my own energy is a day when women issues and equality between the sexes all over the world are to be given extra attention. I'm not sure if it's given as much attention in nations like e.g. India, Somalia, or why not USA, as in our very own Sweden. For some reason I doubt it. The Swedes are masters in the art to celebrate or recognize things that makes them feel responsible and good.

As you might have noticed if you're a regular reader of my texts, I'm not overly enthusiastic. I'm not bursting out of my shoes through the roof in order to levitate by pink clouds, which might be overly clear. And why? Why don't I want to celebrate a day for women, about women, and recognize all of their rights for one day and think extra of the big issues of equality?

One simple reason: Why would I? In what way would I be guilty to do that during this specific day?

I don't know about you other boys, guys and men out there, but at least I don't feel for being good against women during one day. A year according to the Gregorian calendar has got 365 of these. Shall the remaining 364 days remain as a patriarchy propaganda with women being oppressed?

Let's put it like this. I like women. Heck, I'm a heterosexual teenage guy. And I like one woman really much. A whole lot of my friends are girls, I'm talking to girls regularly and I can laugh just as much and well in the company of girls as in the company of guys.

I have never ever in my life treated someone in a different way because of their sex. And I doubt that I ever will (if I do, kick me: this doesn't include sarcasm, irony or cynicism, I want to spare my legs).

The IWD is in one way a big demonstration of the state of the feminism in the world. It's the women, and not the casual women but the rabid ones, the militant women that brings forward their aggressive messages. Men doesn't really have anything to say in the debate without getting labeled as either dictators, animals or lacking character.

Yes, now I am the one generalizing, but this text is mainly a way to show my opinion against the fanatical feminists that claims that men hit women, because it's in our nature. Wtf? In our nature? Come on. Is it then in women's nature to shop? No, it's something you choose. And no, I'm not putting an equality mark between these two, but note however: No woman in the world has a need somewhere deep in her mind to go shopping for loads of money. It's something they want to do, and something they might feel better by doing.

Men hitting women are basically the same thing. They hit women either because of the influence of some stim or drug, to feel better themselves, or simply because they feel for it. And of course they should have a few slaps in the face in order to wake up. Violence is never right unless when self-defending. The same goes for women hitting men though, that is neither more nor less justified, and anyone claiming the opposite should have a really good excuse for it.

I've also a few times heard the argument that "All men are pigs". When then kindly asking whichever girl it might have been why they think that way (don't ask me why they were talking to me at all if they would be correct) the answer is usually: "All that I have met have been that way, so I assume that all others are that way too." Is it really possible to say that without meeting all men in the world? I've only met one guy from Dalsland, and he was deaf. Does that mean that I can regard all guys (or people at all) from Dalsland as deaf? Of course not. get a grip of yourself, it's no good way to whine to proclaim the entire male population of the Earth as any sort of animal.

Yes, I might seem hostile, and I am. I am hostile at people treating other people in an unfair way because of sex, and for that part also religion, race, appearance or ethnicity, among other things. I despise people proclaiming the patriarchy, just as much as I despise the people that want women to rule the world and men to be the oppressed ones.

We are all humans for [insert word regarded as curse] sake. Is that so hard for parts of the world and its population to get?

All from me for this time.


Edit: After being informed by all-around English-pro David I have changed "International Women Day" into "International Women's Day". Thank you David, for contributing to a blog free from grammatical errors and typos.

we're gonna win - bryan adams

We're gonna win
Forget about a draw - were gonna score
And then we're gonna get a few more
Maybe another one just to be sure
Well make ya' look just like an amateur
Until the final whistle it's a war
And then were gonna pick ya off the floor
We wanna hear the crowd really roar
Ya - were comin, in were, gonna win, win!

There are a few songs that can be divided into the true cathegory of "Anthems". A magnum opus of a genre or a topic, a song that defines something only by its pure sound.

This cathegory is of course highly personal, the anthems are decided upon our own experiences. I, for example, associate Watching the Stars with the book The Shining, I think of a specific street on Jersey when hearing Working on the Highway or, to a smaller part, Wind of Change, and I associate the song Heaven with the love of my life.

But heck, some songs are self-written into the cathegory. Summer of '69 is the typical summer-song, so to say, and (Everything I do) I do it for you is simply one of those songs that nearly everyone at least have heard about, if not listened to.

Yes, I mention an awful lot of Bryan Adams, this lil' Canadian. Together with ice-hockey and maple syrup one of the best things that have ever popped out of the big womb of Canada. Guess it's an unusually cold womb, but if it's enough to create persons like Bryan Adams and Wayne Gretzky and... whoever more famous person there is from Canada that isn't a model nor a hockey-player, I guess that it's just fine like that.

And why do I mention him so much? Jeez, the man is the symbol of 80's-music! Just look at his haircut on the cover of Reckless, the man is an icon! And yes, I do happen to like his music a whole lot.

I spent yesterday at Em's place, after first breaking my bike and missing a bus (that came to the bus stop right when I left: by then, it was 12 minutes late), averagely the same time, missing a train in Malmö and waiting 40 minutes for the bus in Lund. As soon as I saw her though, I forgot about the fact that the sky was in a pale shade of grey and just enjoyed being alive. There's not much people that has that effect on me. She has though, and that's a reason to love her. Or maybe it is because I love her? All of a sudden my innocent little blog post has created a complicated query for me. That's probably bad.

Tomorrow I'm going to Denmark, more specifically Lalandia. Wonderful. Well, I've heard they've got somewhat good cafés there. That'll be nice. It's better than sitting home playing a malfunctioning Xbox or a computer with a video-card beyound saviour.

As you might've noticed if you're a regular reader of this blog, I guess you are around five persons, I haven't blogged in a while. This is due to either boredom, exhaustion, being away from the computer (in e.g. Södra Sandby) or spending time with trying to fully understand the phenomenon of torrents. I guess I still haven't realized their full potential.
The world is yours...

Well, I am off now in order to sleep. Because if I don't, it will be harder to get up. And then I will be cranky in the morning. And that might have other people being annoyed. After a while, I will be thrown of when driving outside of Copenhagen. And due to the cold weather, I'll get a cold. Then I won't be able to speak clearly, and have to whisper. And we all know that the one that whispers lies. And then I'll go to jail. And in jail I might get into bad business and doing drugs, and then I'll die.

So yes, I guess I should be off to sleep now.

Cheers, see you on Friday!

cruel town - broder daniel

Cruel town, it’s a cruel town
Cold people, cruel town
Cruel town, it’s a cruel town
If you fall, you stay down

Shitty day today. Boring day.
A Saturday that feels like a Sunday is bound to be bad. But however, except for cleaning and taking one heck of a walk I haven't done anything. Even the Xbox is messed up, now I remember why I haven't had the damned machine connected for half a year.
It doesn't get more encouraging that tomorrow seems to turn out the same. Blasted. Well, one good thing is at least that I might see Ems on either Monday or Tuesday, which is nonetheless awesome since I'm going to Denmark (Lalandia... yay) between Wednesday and Friday. Meeting her for a day would be balm for a bored soul, not seeing her for a week would be a smaller scale-hell.
However, I found something to do now; Sort my music. Yes, all of it. And then not just in the media library, but in the folders too. Example:


Shall instead be:
Simon & Garfunkel - Bookends - Overs
All following the model of "artist-album-song(-track)". The last one is however not acknowledged by me since it's completely irrelevant.
1500 songs, at least. Might get fun.
Well, I am now off towards the telly in order to watch Star Wars - Episode III on PPV, to cheer myself up a bit.

the green fields of france - eric bogle

The sun's shining down on these green fields of France,
The warm wind blows gently and the red poppies dance.
The trenches have vanished long under the plow,
No gas, no barbed wire; no guns firing now!
But here in this graveyard, that's still no mans land,
The countless white crosses in mute witness stand,
To a man's blind indifference to his fellow man,
And a whole generation were butchered and damned

Aye, I'm getting both philosophish and hippieish now. Thereby more or less accidentally finding the eminent song of The Green Fields of France, originally written by Eric Bogle and masterly covered (slightly surprisingly) by Irishpunk-band Dropkick Murphy's. It's a song telling the tale about someone sitting by the grave of you Pvt. Willie McBride, that died at age 19 in the year of 1916, with the narrator of the song thinking about the young man's destiny and what might've happened to him. It's a beautiful song, and I advice you to get it. The Dropkick Murphy's version is the best one, so I advice you to get that.

The reason of my sudden change of mood, to philosophical from simply lazy and happy, is a movie I watched (sadly not the whole at the same time, but half yesterday and the rest today). I take for granted that you've all heard about it: Schindler's List, starring Liam Neeson and Ben Kingsley in the leading roles, and Ralph Fiennes as the most twisted German officer I've seen on screen. The movie itself, directed by the probably greatest director of our time, Stephen Spielberg, is nothing but a masterpiece.
The movie is based upon the true story of the German businessman and convinced nazi Oskar Schindler, that arrives to Kraków soon after the Germans have invaded Poland. With a good sense for making contacts and a brilliant sense for building up a business, even if it mainly means dealing over the responsibility to skilled sub-workers, he starts a factory using only Jewish workers: by that, he can pay them less. Their salaries goes to the SS, but the point to him is that they are cheaper than Polish workers.
As the story goes on Schindler is starting to doubt though, and the change of him as a person is the astonishing part of the movie. 198 minutes long, but that's 198 minutes of art, and nothing less. I won't give any more of the story, since I consider it everyones duty to watch it themselves as soon as possible. No discussion about it.
When I had finished watching the movie I was discretly sobbing and felt as if my eyes had been opened again, even though I've seen quite a few movies about the Holocaust and also have read a lot about it. That's the feeling you get when seeing something simply astonishing. However, after some thinking and listening to sweet ballads about peace and love and the Emerald Isle I feel resurrected, and I feel more for writing something hopeful, rather than grieving for a happening I can never affect, but only do my best to prevent from happening again.

Did you really believe them when they told you the cause,
Did you really believe that this war would end wars?
Well the suffring', the sorrow, the glory, the shame,
The killing and dying it was all done in vain.

After World War II there hasn't been any really big war (not counting civil wars and revolts in the USSR) or armed conflict on European soil, more than the wars in Yugoslavia. And in Yugoslavia it was mostly concerning the Balkan countries, until it started to get too much so that the United States of America took their responsibility and cleaned up. And with all due respect, I dare to claim that the major part of the Swedish population only were affected by the war through immigration to their hometowns.

I believe Europe is getting slightly spoiled and left out from the horrible things of the world, it almost feels a little unfair. Unfair in the way that people in general, I stumble across them everywhere, get more and more apathic when it comes to war and violence. "Conquer those, crush those, yada yada and smash those, they might get dangerous in the future".

Where's the morale in that?

Now, this was ages before my own birth, but I still wonder if Europe has escaped the clouds of the two World Wars, when our continent was turned in to a big, muddy battlefield, stinking of mustard gas.

Oh Willie McBride, it all happened again,
And again and again and again and again!

The battlefield has since been moved. The target for the worlds armed forces has been moved from Berlin to Baghdad, and the warning triangle from Moscow to Pyongyang and Tehran. All the time further away from Europe. All of a sudden the europeans, the ones that ages ago created a proud tradition of killing eachother has been the peaceful and civilized population of the world, and this only in a matter of a century or so.

And of course it's wonderful. I don't want to have to live to see soldiers' boots crossing the borders into my country, nor any other country in our vicinity. I want to see peace through my days and I want my children, and grandchildren to grow up in peaceful times. Of course it matters a lot for me.

But does it matter less to the rest of the world? Does it make any difference if you're Irani and have a nutjob dictator building nukes, or if you're Iraqi and probably will have to see your land fall apart in an armed conflict between militia and foreign armed forces, or if you're Korean and don't get any food, since the holy leader of your country is giving the bread to the army?

Does it make any difference at all?

Doesn't this illustrate the absurd thing in the western world taking responsibility for the rest through invading their countries, deposing their leaders without any plans on how to revive a working state? And as well the absurdity in young men and women joining the army to travel over half of the world to reach a battlefield, a hellhole where they are living with the risk of getting killed during both day and night, as well as morning and evening?

To continue with the subject I'd like to mention one of the most genial movie scenes I've seen: In the movie Fahrenheit 9/11 by Michael Moore that I also assume that all of you have heard about Moore is in one scene standing outside the Capitolium. He is dressed as a draftsman, and every U.S. Senator that walks past him is stopped, and encouraged to let his son join the army to fight for his land. To noone's surprise, none of them were to keen on it and Moore was eventually shoved away from the place.

Doesn't this say quite a lot? Everyone (well, let's say almost everyone) wants to get rid of all the injustice in the world and have everyone live freely and happily for the rest of their lives.

But noone (well, let's say almost noone) wants to send their son or daughter to fight for it. Not in a place from where bodybags are coming by the week, and increasing in numbers.

My point in this is that yes, of course we want freedom, both for ourselves and for others. The farther away it is though, the less it concerns us. And countries liberating/invading (I'll let you choose the term you see best fit) other countries can do so, as long as it doesn't interfere with our daily life and routines.
We can accept a battlefield in the other end of the world since we've forgotten, or are ignoring, the horror of how it once was here, in Europe, on our own home continent.
I will not change the world with this blog post, of course not. It will be read by at most 20 people, commented by a few, and then I'll write a new blog post tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and eventually this will just be another post among many.
But I'd like to remind you, reader, that this planet is ours, and ours only in the future. If many enough of us remembers it, we can one day get an end to pointless killing and illegitimate wars.

Cheers, and peace.

heaven - bryan adams

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
'Cause our love will light the way

Thursdays are nice. Lazy and only three lessons, and at least the first one is good.

Seems as if spring has decided to finally try to battle out the stubborn winter. Or well, today it seemed so for about half the day at least. It's funny, this weather thing, every second day it's bloody winter and the rest of the days it's sun and not warm, but warming at least.

Heck, the snow is melting away in Ystad at least. Not that it matters, since I try not to spend time here, but still.

Talking about Ystad. The upcoming weekend will be spent alone at home, without any company more than the telly and a bunch of movies (and a whole lot of junk-food that's been shipped in from ICA in order to grant my survival) and well... I'm not too thrilled. Nothing better to do though, since people are busy with moving and other for me totally useless things.

To conclude I would like to add that I today celebrate one month with Ems. One month... 31 days. Gee, it's gone by really fast. But that doesn't matter, since no matter how fast or slow it would have felt, it's still been the probably best month of my life.

Emma Karolina Engelin, I love you more than I can say.


(P.s: The usual cheerful "cheers!" on the ending is today replaced by an imitation of a heart, made with computer keyboard. The author apologizes.)

watching the stars - brolle jr

We’re only watching the stars
Heaven’s gotta wait
another year, hold on to your visions tonight
We’re only watching a dream
Oh, paradise will wait
another year, hold on to your visions tonight

I would want to work my reason of blogging-absence on me being busy lately. I can't however, since I haven't been busy. You know, having the time, but not really the will or the inspiration. If you have will and inspiration you always find time for it.

I have spent quite much time away from home lately, more than usual. It's primo school and segundo hanging out with friends on the weekends, so I spend averagely four-five awake hours a day at home a week, not counting Sundays when I'm usually home and just trying to get time to pass.

To leave the subject of my Sunday apathy, since it's nothing of interest nor worth discussing, once again want to mention that wonderful feeling of all of a sudden finding an old favourite song. When surfing around randomly, this was before all of a sudden clouds came from nowhere only to drop some white shite over the town (yes, it's been snowing again) I looked out my window and looked at the stars a little. All of a sudden it struck me, as lightning: Watching the stars! What was the reason that I hadn't been listening to that totally wonderful song for ages? I didn't find any answer, and thereby I downloaded it.

Now, a few of you might appoint me a terrible clod for downloading something that I now can reveal that I actually have on CD, but alas, I have my reasons.

Watching the stars happens to be the best song that Brolle's made. Thereby I of course want to share it with people I know, and the problem here is that most of them don't use Windows Media Player. They usually have the blasphemic program of iTunes (don't worry, I'm just kidding with you) and thereby it isn't possible for them to play .wma-files. And here comes the problem, if you rip a record into the computer via WMP you get them in .wma.

Thereby I downloaded Watching the stars, and the rest of the record, Paradise will wait, was ripped in good old spirit. Tracks like Sound of a drum, Hush Little Baby and Growing up too fast are tracks that actually makes me happy, I've got some memories from when listening to them. It isn't any masterpiece, it isn't Queen, but it's a good artist that gets me at least slightly nostalgic.

And now for something completely different, as John Cleese said before his desk exploded:
It's a jubilee! This is my 100th blog-post.

Yes, I believe I can count as a slight nerd because of that. Not that it would matter: The blog isn't really an online-diary for me, nor is it some specialized blog-crap that at least 50 people already are covering: No, it's my place for writing down my thoughts and such, mostly in order to keep the writing going. I'm happy with that though, and I'm grateful for the comments that I've gathered lately, it's nice to hear people's opinions.

I actually had a smaller thought with the choosing of opening song today see, on my way home form the bus stop I was biking as usual, listening to Sailing to Philadelphia by Mark Knopfler and James Taylor, and I happened to look upwards.

And the sky, the sky... Stained with stars, deep navy blue with bright-shining stars everywhere. I actually forgot that I was on my way home to a well-earned dinner after a relatively long day, and instead just stopped at the fork of the road. Still looking up, still unaware of the rest of the world.

That's the dangerous thing with the stars, when looking at them it's hard to let your eyes concentrate on a more relevant and conrete goal. I simply don't want to, when watching the stars I can dream away as far and much as I want. The longing for the unknown and unexplored is something that never will stop fascinating humanity, I'm convinced of that. It's our curiosity that has kept us alive for so long.

I think I stood there for ten minutes. My mp3 ran out of battery without me noticing it, and I got quite surprised when i noticed. I've got to have been really gone. I got up on the bike again (I had gone of it and stood by a tree instead, that also wihtout really remembering doing so) and biked home to get a good nice dinner of pancakes and bacon.

I don't think that anyone walked by. If they did they saw a dreaming young boy, watching the night-sky with longing eyes and a for every minute brighter mind.


mr brightside - the killers

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now

I know what a few of you - if you're part of a certain sect in TX, USA - thinks: Friggin' gay band, stop listening to them or you'll turn gay yourself!
Reading this shite makes me not to say frustrated, but also slightly scared. "God hates fags; Listen to the music video here". I mean... what the fudge? What's happening?

For thou honorable people that refuses to read anymore of these sites after seeing what they contain, I can give you the content in short.

An American sect, another of many based in Texas, is pumping out their message to the world: God hates faggots, homsexuality is a sin and a choice, and homosexuality shall be fought.

Bullshit. Shoot me in the foot and send me to Lucifer, but it's plain bullshit and nothing else. This whole site is proclaiming hate and narrow minds, and honestly: It makes me sick. I honestly feel nauseous while reading it, but in a more or less angry way. If I one time would have the "privilege" to meet that Reverend Donnie I'd sincerely poke him in the eyes.

Just for fun, I'd like to present the following bands from the "gay warning-list" that I listen to:

Cole Porter
The Doors
The Strokes
Pet Shop Boys
Judas Priest
Rolling Stones
David Bowie
Elton John
Eminmen (if the twat is talking about "Eminem", then yes)
The Killers
30 seconds to Mars
Frank Sinatra
Nickleback (but ain't it spelled "Nickelback"?)
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Panic! at the Disco
Elton John (really gay!)
Please observe that Sir Elton John is mentioned not once, but twice.

What does this mean? Am I gay? Am I going gay? Should my parents send my mp3 to the moon and kill my computer?

Tell you what, it doesn't mean shit. It's bullcrap. The only thing it states is that I'm listening to artists that some manic Christians somewhere consider to be... satanistic? Or gay for that part. Don't ask me how someone could proclaim among others Sir Mick Jagger or Eminem to influence homosexuality. And if they would, should we bother?

Before starting with the mainpoint, I'd also like to comment the totally horrible music video. That's the one making me sick, yes.

Sick with worry, sick with disgust. Sick with despise, sick with astonishment.

That blasted Reverend, that looks like a caricature, is more or less jumping around there plinking on his guitar and singing his foul message. I'll now give you the lyrics:

Mmmm ... yeah, yeah
(Rofl... is he moaning?)

Give me strength to fight temptation
Lord, lead me to your salvation
The Bible says as plain as day
With a man you shall not lay

Lord, you are my strength
Fill me with your love
Help me fight these feelings
Help me rise above

Lord, help them hear me and make clear my voice
'Cause being gay is nothing but a choice

God hates a fag
God hates fags
God hates fags
So if you're a fag, He hates you, too

Read the Bible and you'll be sure
To enter heaven, there's no back door
Righteous man, get on your knees
There lies no virtue in sodomy

Lord you are my shield
Sustain me through the fight
A shelter from the urges
And help me see the light

You filthy sinners should just let me be
'Cause Jesus my savior's the only man for me


Lord, you are my strength
Fill me with your love
Help me fight these feelings
Help me rise above
Lord, help them hear me and make clear my voice
'Cause being gay is nothing but a choice


Tell you what Reverend, fuck off. Just, fuck off. Go burn, jump down the Niagara Falls to feel the wind rushing through your hair, kick a bull in the nuts, try flying from Empire State Building. I honestly don't care, but I'd as sure as anything be happy if you'd earn yourself a Darwin Award for removing yourself from the planet in an utterly stupid way.

The thing that this song is implying is that if you believe in God and follow his rules, you'll have a nice time in heaven after you're dead. If you don't however, you'll burn in hell forever more. Which I think isn't really the way that most Christians believe, at least not the ones that I've met. In any case it doesn't sound as the vision of an all-loving God to me.

What is really the sin in homosexuality? That some men prefer men (to focus on the male part of homosexuality, that is the one that gets most attention after all) and thereby has anal sex by logical reasons? Simply that they're not as everyone else, but follows another way? Who knows, perhaps the Reverend got raped by a big muscular criminal sometime?

Without involving religion, homosexuality is something generally seen with sceptism in society. "Faggots", what are they really? They're humans, and nothing else. Men that likes to sleep with men and falls in love with men and women that likes to sleep with women and falls in love with women. Are they anything less worth just because of that? Are they not as much human as you and me?

What's next?

We can state the following: Male gays are seen with more sceptism than female ones, generally. Is it simply that Average Joe is afraid of the fact that they're taking it in the rump?

The fanatics says that sodomy in itself is a sin, and sodomy actually means anal sex in that case. Are all the young (and elder for that part) couples trying anal sex commiting a sin?

Is BD/SM a sin?

Is bondage a sin?

Is any sort of sex rather than a male and a female in a missionary, with both getting their orgasms at the same time, a sin?

Think about it, can we really define a sin? Of course we can't! Because we all have different interpretations of the world, and not all of us are religious.

So what can we do? We can wake up, we can simply realize that we can't judge people from what they are or aren't, but by who they are. Personality, deeds and doings. People are individuals, and shall be judged from themselves and nothing else. You can't judge someone without talking to him or her, at least not in a fair way.

Are we really so narrow that we can't accept that the person next to us doesn't get turned on the same things as ourselves?
To end, I'd like to quote two really good things that Koc said, while discussing this with me:
*When I sent him the link with the gay bands*
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
oh wait
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
Scissor Sisters,
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
I totally agree with that sect
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
What the fuck, The Doors?

*After having watched the music video*
- Interstellar Tsar
Sending him a mail would be fun
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
I'm a devout catholic, but when I look at the picture of David Hasslehoff (that
is hanging on my wall) I get this strange feeling. A feeling that makes me all
- Interstellar Tsar säger:
I rest my case and thank Koc for giving me a few laughters, even though I was quite pissed off by then, I'm cooling down now at least.
I hope I'm starting some kind of debate here: It sure as hell is needed. Take queries or opinions with a comment if you want to, I'll answer if needed or motivated.
Cheers, now go out in the world and love eachother!
I would also like to add that I do respect religions and religious beliefs, I however have a hard time accepting or for that part respecting when they are proclaiming against a certain group of people or encouraging violence, as well as times when it demaddnds or proclamis missionaring. /Snugglie

a kind of magic - queen

It's a kind of magic
The waiting seems eternity
The day will dawn of sanity
Is this a kind of magic?

"This song is a tribute to my medicines"... Na, not really, but that medicine against the coughing is... niiiice.

I've most likely lost my mind since I decide to stay at home and cure my illness on a day without any Science-lessons for my part. If I'd stayed home tomorrow instead I'd have missed in total 145 minutes of Biology and 75 of Chemistry, not to mention a 80 minutes long Maths-lesson in the morning.

The fact that I couldn't speak this morning was however convincing enough for me to realize that I should get some rest. The following fact that I was also sneezing, not able to breathe through my nose and at the same time coughed my intestines up didn't make it better.
Yes, I am a fucking whiner and I'll try to stop with that for now.
However, the day's been spent in glorious Ystad in either the kitchen, my room or by the telly. I started the day with going to sleep again, which was both nice and utterly well-needed. Then I've... cleaned, cleaned more, read the paper, read a book...
Ah yes, I also watched The Cider-House Rules by Lasse Hallström. Totally wonderful movie, just like every Hallström. For my part he is without doubt the best director ever from Sweden, with titles like Shipping News, Chocolat and the masterpiece What's Eating Gilbert Grape. I gotta get those movies someday. Collecting ftw.
I saw the sunset when going shopping at ICA. Some day when I'm slightly more deep I'll write something about this one of very few beautiful and good things with my hometown.
I've also spent some time putting some pics into my picture journal. I suggest you take a look:
Totally painful Tuesday tomorrow... Maths, Biology x2 and Chemistry. Lucky I have Swedish at least. And it doesn't matter as much since I'll get to see the other fellows in any case. And that's good. That's always as good.

shuffling - snugglie

Found this slightly interesting thing somewhere on the Internet. Don't ask me where, 'cause I don't think I remember. Ah well. Variation's always nice, ey?

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too. (Fat chance: I've got more important things than tagging people. Just do it if you feel for it. *Feeling rebellious*)

1. How are you feeling today?
I'm Ready - Bryan Adams
This recording's horrible, I gotta try to find a better version. However, Bryan Adams in good form on his breakthrough record, good song.
2. Will you get far in life?
Soul Kitchen - The Doors
Say what? Becoming a chef?
3. How do your friends see you?
Karate - Tenacious D
Fellers... I'm not that violent, am I?
4. Will you get married?
Reign of terror - Stratovarius
Holy hell... This doesn't seem to be my day, really.
5. What is your life’s theme song?
Love Over Gold - Dire Straits
"I choose love over gold..." Wonderful song, finally some luck.
6. What is the story of your life?
Salvador - Jamie T
Weird fellow from Wimbledon that sings about women from here to Salvador. No, I don't get it.
7. What was high school like?
En av alla dom - Lars Winnerbäck
Heehee. If it's about the gymnasium, I believe that I've got some time to change it, at least?
8. How can you get ahead in life?
I'm going slightly mad - Queen
Now this is weird. I simply can't, and will be driven insane trying? Or I might getting somewhere by getting mad. Who'd notice another madman in the world anyhow?
9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
It's Only Love - Bryan Adams
More Canadian rock from his break-through album.
10. What is the best thing about your friends?
Kom ihåg mig - Lars Winnerbäck
"Den vackraste stunden i livet var den när du kom..." I like this song. Nice choice.
11. What is in store for the next weekend?
Chasing Shadows - Stratovarius
Well, last time I tried this the answer got Running from the devil by Reverend Horton Heat, this is at least slightly better.
12. What song best describes you?
Working Class Man - Jimmy Barnes
Australian rock anthem? Cool.
13. How is your life going?
Ride the river - JJ Cale & Eric Clapton
Yay, two ol' druggie-buddies that recorded an album together are singing a song about me. "Rolling down that ol' river boy... all my worries far behind." Nice.
14. What song will play at your funeral?
Grease - Frankie Valli
Hell yeah.
15. How does the world see you?
Oh, Pretty Woman - Gary Moore
... sod off.
16. Will you have a happy life?
New Year's Day - Charlie Robison
A nice country-song about the new year, about a fellow by the border. It sounds happy at least.
17. What do your friends really think of you?
You're My Best Friend - Queen
Naaw... Seems like the shuffle-god has decided to be nice to me again.
18. What song describes the person you’re attracted to?
Sweet Lady - Queen
19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
Happy New Year - Rent
This is interesting... Kids, don't try to be actors. Get a real job!
20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
Only the Blues - Charlie Robison
Snugglie: It's getting symbolic by now, but no, I don't believe so myself.
Shuffle-god: Silence! Thou shalt think as I command and ignore thy own will!
Snugglie: Yes master.
21. Do people secretly lust after me?
Tunnel of love - Dire Straits
Haha, not that it matters too much to me...
22. How can I make myself happy?
Summer Nights - John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John
Hell yeah.
23. Will I ever have children?
Kom Hem Till Mej - Lars Winnerbäck
" kom hem till mig, gör vi nåt ihop..." ^^
24. What’s some good advice for me?
Break On Through - The Doors
Alas Jim Morrison, are you trying to say something to me? Ah well. I interpret it as "Survive IB!".
25. How will I be remembered?
Wearing the inside out - Dire Straits
Now this's interesting... x_x
26. What is my signature dance song?
Down Under - Men at Work
Yes, I really do love this song.
Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,

Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Cant you hear, cant you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.

Well, that's all for me for today, I guess. I'm having my first TOK-lesson tomorrow (Theory of Knowledge that is) and then I have P.E. in the school gym. Wonderfulness. And then I'm probably going to spend the evening with dearest Ems.


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